There are so many days when nothing seems to be going your way. You get down and not sure why all this happening to you. You know the expression "When It Rain It Pours". These are the days we need to look at all the positive things in our lives and give thanks for what we do have.
If you have ever tried this, it is a very hard thing to do when things just seem so bad. It is more of just training your mind to stop being so self absorbed. I catch myself doing this all the time. Especially in today's day and time, it is always about Me..Me...ME! What are you going to do for me!
So now what I am trying to do is everyday when I am praying say what I am thankful for. I am not going to wait for Thanksgiving Day to do this anymore. It is amazing when you start looking around at your life, how many things could be alot worse. Just praying has it's many advantages and having God in your life. You know when your kids seem ungratful for all the things you are working hard to provide for them. I look at it like God looks down on us and wonders why are we are not more grateful and thankful to him. He sent his son to die on the cross for our sins and we should daily give him our thanks and gratitude for this wonderful gift.
Try to make this a practice. Start weekly and then try more often until you get to daily. Putting more positive things in our life and doing more for others has it's own great rewards!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
What Did I Do To Deserve This?
Some days I get so upset, because I feel I am being a good person trying to do the right thing all the time. I try to help my neighbors out whenever I can, try to watch my language and just be nice to others in general. Then life comes and gives me a curve ball. For example:
My husband and work very hard to put food on the table for our kids. We are both divorced and trying to make the best of taking care of both our sets of kids without any child support from either ex. My ex was on drugs for years and owes me an unbelievable amount of money for back child support and alimony. He basically has not paid anything in the past 8 years we have been divorced. I tried taking him to court with me paying for a lawyer. The lawyer had me do most of the leg work and got most of all the information wrong in the formal documentation. Just because you pay for a lawyer does not mean you will receive the justice you are looking for ...believe me! So I took the matters into my own hands and tried taking him to court on my own. He did not show for court and they were going to arrest him on the spot but I (not knowing what I was doing) overlooked a box that needed to be checked in order for them to arrest him. So after another year of not receiving any payment, I wiped the dust off and tried it again. This time he showed up for court. There was no satisfaction in the court system here either. He just told them he could not afford to make any payments as of yet because he has been sick with Hep C. So the judge asked me what I would like to have done. I told him I wanted him to pay up or else! He told me that my ex obviously has no money and you can't get what he doesn't have.
I was so upset by this. I spent a couple years and lots of time and money trying to right the wrong for my children. It's hard when they want basic things you can't supply them. I was devestated and wondered "What did I do to deserve this?" I was the model wife and mother, still working very hard to make ends meet, started over and providing a loving home for my boys....WHY???
For years I have let this run my life. It was always on my mind and I was always striving for a way to right the wrong. Then after reading the Bible I decided to let it go. Why struggle over all this mental anguish when I don't have to...I can turn it over to God! So I did!
I have prayed about it and let God decide what was the best course for me. Six months ago my oldest son decided to move out of state and back with his dad. After years and years of fighting this I decided to let God handle it. My son moved down with his dad and within six months moved back home with me. My ex has slowly been paying some support....but hey some is better than none! But the biggest difference in my life is I have moved on and removed the unwanted stress in my life and let God handle it for me. There is one thing I have learned is that God has a better plan than I! I now currently have the most loving and wonderful husband the whole entire world, both kids want and choose to live with me, and I have God in my life which has given me an incredible sense of inner peace that I have been searching for years for.
My husband and work very hard to put food on the table for our kids. We are both divorced and trying to make the best of taking care of both our sets of kids without any child support from either ex. My ex was on drugs for years and owes me an unbelievable amount of money for back child support and alimony. He basically has not paid anything in the past 8 years we have been divorced. I tried taking him to court with me paying for a lawyer. The lawyer had me do most of the leg work and got most of all the information wrong in the formal documentation. Just because you pay for a lawyer does not mean you will receive the justice you are looking for ...believe me! So I took the matters into my own hands and tried taking him to court on my own. He did not show for court and they were going to arrest him on the spot but I (not knowing what I was doing) overlooked a box that needed to be checked in order for them to arrest him. So after another year of not receiving any payment, I wiped the dust off and tried it again. This time he showed up for court. There was no satisfaction in the court system here either. He just told them he could not afford to make any payments as of yet because he has been sick with Hep C. So the judge asked me what I would like to have done. I told him I wanted him to pay up or else! He told me that my ex obviously has no money and you can't get what he doesn't have.
I was so upset by this. I spent a couple years and lots of time and money trying to right the wrong for my children. It's hard when they want basic things you can't supply them. I was devestated and wondered "What did I do to deserve this?" I was the model wife and mother, still working very hard to make ends meet, started over and providing a loving home for my boys....WHY???
For years I have let this run my life. It was always on my mind and I was always striving for a way to right the wrong. Then after reading the Bible I decided to let it go. Why struggle over all this mental anguish when I don't have to...I can turn it over to God! So I did!
I have prayed about it and let God decide what was the best course for me. Six months ago my oldest son decided to move out of state and back with his dad. After years and years of fighting this I decided to let God handle it. My son moved down with his dad and within six months moved back home with me. My ex has slowly been paying some support....but hey some is better than none! But the biggest difference in my life is I have moved on and removed the unwanted stress in my life and let God handle it for me. There is one thing I have learned is that God has a better plan than I! I now currently have the most loving and wonderful husband the whole entire world, both kids want and choose to live with me, and I have God in my life which has given me an incredible sense of inner peace that I have been searching for years for.
Friday, August 22, 2008
How I Found My Inner Peace!
Growing up as kid, I had this wonderful sense of inner peace. Bad things may have happened to me but I would laugh and have a wonderful time. As I grew older and my eyes became more open to the world and the pains of life hit me, my inner peace faded. It was definitely a slow process but over time life had a way of teaching the harsh realities.
I started searching constantly for a way to better myself. If I better myself, or become smarter, richer my life would ultimately become what I was searching for. I changed the way I dressed, lost weight, gained weight, gained financial security, then lost it. Nothing seemed to satisfy what I was looking for. I read all kinds of self-help books, seminars, workbooks, etc...still I was absolutely miserable inside. I could not feel happy or recapture what I felt as a child. I mentally hit rock bottom in my life and wondered for years if I could ever feel happy again. Doctors prescribed antidepressants but then I was just numb without any real fix. I went to therapist but nothing!
So I went back to my roots as a child...I decided to start reading the bible. I went to church as a child every Sunday and Wednesday but hadn't been to church in over 15 years. I didn't want to find a church I just wanted to read. I have read all kinds of self-help books so I decided to read the "Ultimate Self-Help" book. To my surprise I could not put it down. For three months I read every moment I could and I have almost finished reading the bible. Now I am not claiming to understand everything that I have read but I have definitely found my "Inner Peace"!
I could not get over the dramatic and instantaneous change I mentally felt. I no longer needed any other book or pill to feel better. I found God and realize that Christ is my Savior and things began to fall into place in my life. I still have bad times in my life but realize they are for a reason. I am learning to except what comes my way in life. Learning how to deal with my anger and why I feel the negative feelings that I feel. Most of which have to do with vanity, jealousy, and not accepting what is. I am trying to put more love, peace and helping others into my life.
So many physical and mental changes have happened since I have started reading the Bible. It has been such a wonderful thing that has happened to me....I recommend that everyone should just read the Bible with a open heart and mind and see what wonderful things happen to you!
Marie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
